One of THOSE days

Today is one of THOSE days. You know the kind of days where you just don't feel like you matter in the scheme of things.  Everything is YOUR fault. People come at you and tell you you should  have done this, or you shouldn't have said that.  Maybe I should or shouldn't have done whatever, but it's done now.

I mentioned on the air Sunday, that we are in a spiritul battle. We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalites, against powers and the rulers of the darkness..  We have to pray. After that message, I have been attacked.  I wasn't surprised. I got some unexpected calls, about the music I played.  I've been reading and studying for some classes at church. 

I seem to get discouraged easily these days. I guess it's because I have had so much tied in to who I was on radio, I am still trying to figure out who I am.  I know who I am in many ways, a compassionate, caring, hardworking person.

During THOSE days, I try to think on the things that are pure, lovely and praiseworthy. I do Praise God for the small things, things could be a lot woorse. I was reminded of that the other night in what was a nightmare. I actually woke up shaking. It wasn't creepy or a scene from a horror movie. It was what would have happened if things would have remained as they were last year. It wasn't pretty. I got up from my shaking dream and praised God that it didn't happen.

Some days I struggle with anger, and others the devil tries to tell me that everyone has forgotten about me after all of those years.  I struggle with what do I do with all of the experience that I have, which no one wants. I was watching "Fireproof" the other day and the song came on "While I'm Waiting".  What do you do while you wait? You pray and ask direction. You are afraid to take a step for fear that you will fall on your face. If a job came along you are afraid that you wouldn't be able to do it. Anyway you just hang in there and hope for the best.

My dad wonders why I am back in school past 50. There are a lot of dislocated workers out there trying to start over. We need all of the encouragement they can get. When I am having one of THOSE days, I especially need encouragement. I know that God loves me. There's not a friend like the lowly Jesus, no not one, no not one, Jesus knows all about our struggles, He will guide til the day is done, there is not a friend like the lowly Jesus, no not one......

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