More than Ever
Today marks the ninth month I have been without a job. You can read what happened in an earlier blog, called "One Dark Day". Anyway, the reason why I mark this day is, the calendar is the same as it was last August, and I wanted to share my journey of faith. More than ever I cherish the cross, and "He's Been Faithful To Me," are not just songs, they are my realities.
September 1st was the day I started filing for unemployment. I had never been in the system. One of my listeners did my claim. Sharon had told me to talk to her. She had called this lady and she said that she would be patient and help me. I also went that day to get services from the Division of Rehabilative services. I had a case open with them, because I had a feeling that things would play out. Sharon was working out of the Workforce building and had told me about the number of people she had been seeing come into Workforce that were in our age group. People who had worked at jobs a long time and were suddenly downsized. She had prepared me, but there there is only so much you can prepare for. The next day I had class, and Friday, I was on the phone trying to see what I could do about getting my medicines paid for. When you lose a job, you are offered COBRA, but most people can't afford it, so they don't take it. COBRA for me was over $500.00 per month. I couldn't afford it. With the same bills, and a reduction in income from unemployment, a lot of us can't afford it.
The next few days were spent on the internet, looking up resouces for diabetics and researching other things. All of that time I didn't have the break down. I was too busy. That came a week later. I was praying and crying out to the Lord about things and the Lord began to minister to me through friends. People would call or I called people and the first thing out of their mouths was "The Devil Is A Liar". Then they would talk and pray with me. Some sent cards, and I called them. Some said I needed an attorney. The funniest call I got was from Mrs. Dickerson, this lady is 82 years old, she has known me since I was eight years old. I was telling her some of the advice I got and she said, "You've got the best attourney there is Jesus", and then she said this "God don't like ugly". When I finished talking to her I was laughing. There was some prayer going forth, asking God to open doors of opportunity for me. Several of my friends said that God was moving me to a place where I would be celebrated and not tolerated. While watching TV one morning Creflo Dollar said this, "You wouldn't leave that job, so God shut it down". I stopped in my tracks. "OK Lord I Got it." I knew that God had allowed this. Then Joyce Meyer said, that sometimes you stay in a place too long, after the anointing has gone and it is a miserable time. I was upset, because over the years I was told that my voice wasn't good enough to be on anything other than the station I was on. I had had some very hurtful things said about my voice. Looking back now I am not sure if people were trying to keep me down or what the deal was. I was depressed that one morning, and Joyce Meyer had the same issue. I was half asleep when I heard her say, "God's going to use your voice to proclaim the Word to nations". I sat straight up on the couch and began to cry. I ordered that CD, with that word on it.
The people I thought would help didn't. God sent people in various ways. My doctor wrote all of my medications generic and gave me samples for the rest. Someone blessed me with money, in secret. I was able to get help from family and my church. The only thing I didn't care for was someone got the bright idea to do a fund raiser for me. It sounds good on the surface, but I didn't want the need to be made public. If someone has been out of work they might need something. When I filed for disability, my unemployment stopped. For a few months all we had was Matt's income. It was a scary time. The bills were the same and some things went up and we just lived from one day to the next. We asked for help from the church, and family. It was during this time someone had the idea of a fundraiser. I resented this idea, because a little help given with a pure heart is better than a big splash. I was getting my documents together to go to DHHR (welfare) office, when I got the call that my disability was approved. God is an on-time God. I had tried to find some work as contract labor, (cash) because we were having it rough. During this time I lost my pride. I didn't care anymore. I had worked for 33 years and it came to this. I was very discouraged. I had been a public figure on the radio and I felt abandoned... God is an on-time God.
I am listening to Jakes and he was saying in order to move forward, there has to be some cleaning out. I agree. While all of these things wer happening, I was trusting God. It hurts. A song came to mind. I have been singing in church since I was ten and there were several songs that came to mind. "He'll Be To You, Just What You'll Let Him Be." A part in the song says "If you're sick, He's a doctor, When you get in trouble He's a lawyer, He'll be your friend, He will roll dark clouds away, turn your midnight in to day, He will make everything alright...." I had a determination not to let this situation break me. The song from the McKameys came to mind, "God Will Make This Trial A Blessing" and then "When God Has Another Plan". I grow daily and I am trying to forgive. The scars are healing, it takes time. Every once in a while, I hear something that will hit that wound. It hurts.
I don't know what God has in store for me. I don't really want to work in radio again. I am doing some volunteer work and our church's broadcast from time to time. That's enough for now. As God strengthens me and retrains me, He is good. The disability income is enough where I don't have to work a full time job. It's whatever God wants now. I am healing from years of being mistreated and growing in confidence. Growing in grace....
One Sunday in January, Bishop had preached a message, I had had a hard week dealing with things. The devil had whispered in my ear all week, about what was, and I'll never do this again ect. As I said Bishop had preached and the last thing I remember is he said "Devil , you're are ready for a beatdown". He was telling us to put the devil under our feet. The next thing I knew I was dancing across the front of the church. That was God, because after years of going up those steps at WJLS and wearing two and three inch heels, my knees are in bad shape. They weren't that day. I was dancing myself free. I have danced some since then, but I shocked everyone including me. What I do now, is I am at home growing in the Lord, learning to trust Him more than ever.
September 1st was the day I started filing for unemployment. I had never been in the system. One of my listeners did my claim. Sharon had told me to talk to her. She had called this lady and she said that she would be patient and help me. I also went that day to get services from the Division of Rehabilative services. I had a case open with them, because I had a feeling that things would play out. Sharon was working out of the Workforce building and had told me about the number of people she had been seeing come into Workforce that were in our age group. People who had worked at jobs a long time and were suddenly downsized. She had prepared me, but there there is only so much you can prepare for. The next day I had class, and Friday, I was on the phone trying to see what I could do about getting my medicines paid for. When you lose a job, you are offered COBRA, but most people can't afford it, so they don't take it. COBRA for me was over $500.00 per month. I couldn't afford it. With the same bills, and a reduction in income from unemployment, a lot of us can't afford it.
The next few days were spent on the internet, looking up resouces for diabetics and researching other things. All of that time I didn't have the break down. I was too busy. That came a week later. I was praying and crying out to the Lord about things and the Lord began to minister to me through friends. People would call or I called people and the first thing out of their mouths was "The Devil Is A Liar". Then they would talk and pray with me. Some sent cards, and I called them. Some said I needed an attorney. The funniest call I got was from Mrs. Dickerson, this lady is 82 years old, she has known me since I was eight years old. I was telling her some of the advice I got and she said, "You've got the best attourney there is Jesus", and then she said this "God don't like ugly". When I finished talking to her I was laughing. There was some prayer going forth, asking God to open doors of opportunity for me. Several of my friends said that God was moving me to a place where I would be celebrated and not tolerated. While watching TV one morning Creflo Dollar said this, "You wouldn't leave that job, so God shut it down". I stopped in my tracks. "OK Lord I Got it." I knew that God had allowed this. Then Joyce Meyer said, that sometimes you stay in a place too long, after the anointing has gone and it is a miserable time. I was upset, because over the years I was told that my voice wasn't good enough to be on anything other than the station I was on. I had had some very hurtful things said about my voice. Looking back now I am not sure if people were trying to keep me down or what the deal was. I was depressed that one morning, and Joyce Meyer had the same issue. I was half asleep when I heard her say, "God's going to use your voice to proclaim the Word to nations". I sat straight up on the couch and began to cry. I ordered that CD, with that word on it.
The people I thought would help didn't. God sent people in various ways. My doctor wrote all of my medications generic and gave me samples for the rest. Someone blessed me with money, in secret. I was able to get help from family and my church. The only thing I didn't care for was someone got the bright idea to do a fund raiser for me. It sounds good on the surface, but I didn't want the need to be made public. If someone has been out of work they might need something. When I filed for disability, my unemployment stopped. For a few months all we had was Matt's income. It was a scary time. The bills were the same and some things went up and we just lived from one day to the next. We asked for help from the church, and family. It was during this time someone had the idea of a fundraiser. I resented this idea, because a little help given with a pure heart is better than a big splash. I was getting my documents together to go to DHHR (welfare) office, when I got the call that my disability was approved. God is an on-time God. I had tried to find some work as contract labor, (cash) because we were having it rough. During this time I lost my pride. I didn't care anymore. I had worked for 33 years and it came to this. I was very discouraged. I had been a public figure on the radio and I felt abandoned... God is an on-time God.
I am listening to Jakes and he was saying in order to move forward, there has to be some cleaning out. I agree. While all of these things wer happening, I was trusting God. It hurts. A song came to mind. I have been singing in church since I was ten and there were several songs that came to mind. "He'll Be To You, Just What You'll Let Him Be." A part in the song says "If you're sick, He's a doctor, When you get in trouble He's a lawyer, He'll be your friend, He will roll dark clouds away, turn your midnight in to day, He will make everything alright...." I had a determination not to let this situation break me. The song from the McKameys came to mind, "God Will Make This Trial A Blessing" and then "When God Has Another Plan". I grow daily and I am trying to forgive. The scars are healing, it takes time. Every once in a while, I hear something that will hit that wound. It hurts.
I don't know what God has in store for me. I don't really want to work in radio again. I am doing some volunteer work and our church's broadcast from time to time. That's enough for now. As God strengthens me and retrains me, He is good. The disability income is enough where I don't have to work a full time job. It's whatever God wants now. I am healing from years of being mistreated and growing in confidence. Growing in grace....
One Sunday in January, Bishop had preached a message, I had had a hard week dealing with things. The devil had whispered in my ear all week, about what was, and I'll never do this again ect. As I said Bishop had preached and the last thing I remember is he said "Devil , you're are ready for a beatdown". He was telling us to put the devil under our feet. The next thing I knew I was dancing across the front of the church. That was God, because after years of going up those steps at WJLS and wearing two and three inch heels, my knees are in bad shape. They weren't that day. I was dancing myself free. I have danced some since then, but I shocked everyone including me. What I do now, is I am at home growing in the Lord, learning to trust Him more than ever.
Comments
Post a Comment