Its August
Its August, the garden is coming in with fresh tomatoes, green beans and all sort of fresh vegetables. I remember my dad saying that when he was a kid, him and his cousin Johnny would head for the garden with a salt shaker, so they could eat tomatoes, cucumbers ect. I also hear the crickets singing and I think its almost time to go back to school. Those three words send a dread into the lives of every kid. Parents get anxious about buying stuff for the kids, school clothes and the like. Moms and dads get sad because kids are going off to college for the first time. There are a lot of emotions associated with this month.
I am experiencing all of these myself. happiness over the plants and the garden,looking forward to the convention in Ripley, anxious about school and my financial aid package and trying tio finish Algebra and pass it, also statistics, I am concerned about. I am told that it makes more sense that algebra.. I am feeling a little old and somewhat depressed when I think how some things are, and that I haven't found my way yet. I know God is moved me from one dimension and I haven't reached my destination yet, and it is scary. I am in better shape than I was last year, physically and emotionally, and also in way better shape than I was in two years ago. To God be the glory!!!
Some good things happened to me in August. The State Fair of West Virginia was one of them. I had the chance to do some MC work on rthe grandstand. That was fun meeting some of the top gospel groups and introducing them. Matt and I discovered we liked each other romantically, and deceided to stop beating around the bush and tell each other how we felt. I found my house in August. I was ready to move out and we had been looking at realestate and one day I drove by here and saw a bank sign in the yard and I called about it. Over the next few weeks, we had people look at the house to see what I should offer> Made an offer and the bank accepted it. I felt the spirit of God move in my heart in August as well. I was 13 when that happened, it was emotional and made me want to live right. I got the baptism of the Holy Ghost years later, but this was just a taste to let me know what it was like.
I guess in these things I am blessed and I am blessed when I think about what happened two years ago. The experience is not quite as raw as it was when it first happened.It is a wound thatn has healed over, but there is still a tender place there and if someone hits it , it does hurt. I can clearly see the hand of God working here, but a part of me still hurts when I think about what I had been doing since age 19 and am no longer doing it. I could kick my own tail for staying in a situation for too long where I had lost respect for those over me and they had no respect for me either. They didn't know me or what I stood for , they just figured I was just like them. I wasn't I had to answer to a higher power. I felt that radio was my calling. Since then I have tried to let it go and walk away. There are parts I can walk away from, but there are others I would love to do again. It saddens me to think that my end was a negative experience and that would be my last thing I remember. I keep thinking about the 23 Psalm that said "Thou preparest a table for me in front of mine enemies, thou anointest my head with oil my cup runneth over? That hasn't happened yet, but at some point I know it will. It is God's word. So is vengance is mine, I wil,l repay saith the Lord. Not that I want to execute vengence on those who hurt me, I just want my just due. I may never get it on this side, but in heaven My God My God , WOW words can't even describe what I feel..
I guess the hurting part of all of this was people that I thought were in my corner, weren't. They were in their own corner. They were not in my front row so to speak. They used me until I had nothing to give, and then they hardly gave m,e the time of day. They listened to the spin others put on my departure and never asked me what happened, they believed the worst when I only gave them the best I could. Instead of offering me a helping hand, they waited on my downfall. They just didn't care. Despite all of this I am doing OK. Things aren't quite like I wish they would be, buit they are OK. I didn lose my mind, the house or the car. We didn't go hungry or naked so we are still blessed. There were lessons to be learned here, the Bible tells us to not put our confidence in man or riches. I did in some cases, so I had to learn that. I also learned never to give your heart, your soul to anything unless it has Eternal value. I also know I am not the first or won't be the last person to lose a job in az srtuggling economy, but my choices at the time were limited. Gods possibilites are not. Its August and my emotions are all over the chart......
I am experiencing all of these myself. happiness over the plants and the garden,looking forward to the convention in Ripley, anxious about school and my financial aid package and trying tio finish Algebra and pass it, also statistics, I am concerned about. I am told that it makes more sense that algebra.. I am feeling a little old and somewhat depressed when I think how some things are, and that I haven't found my way yet. I know God is moved me from one dimension and I haven't reached my destination yet, and it is scary. I am in better shape than I was last year, physically and emotionally, and also in way better shape than I was in two years ago. To God be the glory!!!
Some good things happened to me in August. The State Fair of West Virginia was one of them. I had the chance to do some MC work on rthe grandstand. That was fun meeting some of the top gospel groups and introducing them. Matt and I discovered we liked each other romantically, and deceided to stop beating around the bush and tell each other how we felt. I found my house in August. I was ready to move out and we had been looking at realestate and one day I drove by here and saw a bank sign in the yard and I called about it. Over the next few weeks, we had people look at the house to see what I should offer> Made an offer and the bank accepted it. I felt the spirit of God move in my heart in August as well. I was 13 when that happened, it was emotional and made me want to live right. I got the baptism of the Holy Ghost years later, but this was just a taste to let me know what it was like.
I guess in these things I am blessed and I am blessed when I think about what happened two years ago. The experience is not quite as raw as it was when it first happened.It is a wound thatn has healed over, but there is still a tender place there and if someone hits it , it does hurt. I can clearly see the hand of God working here, but a part of me still hurts when I think about what I had been doing since age 19 and am no longer doing it. I could kick my own tail for staying in a situation for too long where I had lost respect for those over me and they had no respect for me either. They didn't know me or what I stood for , they just figured I was just like them. I wasn't I had to answer to a higher power. I felt that radio was my calling. Since then I have tried to let it go and walk away. There are parts I can walk away from, but there are others I would love to do again. It saddens me to think that my end was a negative experience and that would be my last thing I remember. I keep thinking about the 23 Psalm that said "Thou preparest a table for me in front of mine enemies, thou anointest my head with oil my cup runneth over? That hasn't happened yet, but at some point I know it will. It is God's word. So is vengance is mine, I wil,l repay saith the Lord. Not that I want to execute vengence on those who hurt me, I just want my just due. I may never get it on this side, but in heaven My God My God , WOW words can't even describe what I feel..
I guess the hurting part of all of this was people that I thought were in my corner, weren't. They were in their own corner. They were not in my front row so to speak. They used me until I had nothing to give, and then they hardly gave m,e the time of day. They listened to the spin others put on my departure and never asked me what happened, they believed the worst when I only gave them the best I could. Instead of offering me a helping hand, they waited on my downfall. They just didn't care. Despite all of this I am doing OK. Things aren't quite like I wish they would be, buit they are OK. I didn lose my mind, the house or the car. We didn't go hungry or naked so we are still blessed. There were lessons to be learned here, the Bible tells us to not put our confidence in man or riches. I did in some cases, so I had to learn that. I also learned never to give your heart, your soul to anything unless it has Eternal value. I also know I am not the first or won't be the last person to lose a job in az srtuggling economy, but my choices at the time were limited. Gods possibilites are not. Its August and my emotions are all over the chart......
Comments
Post a Comment