Reflections of 2014
Today is the last day of 2014. I am up early writing this entry. As I look back on 2014, I am thankful for the good things God has allowed to come my way. The opportunities that He has given me and even the challenges that He has helped me to overcome. As we get ready for 2015, it is a fearful time, as well as an exciting. We have to remember that no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in, that God has in under control.
2014 started out as a challenging year for the Milam's. Matt had just went through major surgery at the end of October 2013. He was scheduled to go back to UVA for test to see if there were any problems with healing from the first surgery. This was scheduled on Jan 8th. I had just re-enrolled back in college. Matt had started back to work on a part time basis. We both were still reeling from all of what we had been through. Everything from dealing with Matts surgery, my role as a caregiver, and having to withdraw from my last year of college to care for him. That was the right thing to do, but it came with some emotional scars. When the doctor release Matt to go back to work on a part time basis, I re-enrolled in college. I asked about the RBA program, and after an evaluation, it was determined that I only needed 12 hours, which translated to four classes. I could take them online. I thought OK, I will do this while Matt is resting. So that what I did. As I entered January, I felt tired haggard and very depressed. I posted on Facebook, that I needed a makeover. I really did, my wardrobe consisted of jeans and a few things to wear to work. I needed tops and sweaters. I tend to spill things on my tops so they have to be replaced. I just felt drained. As a result of this post several things happened. I went to the Women's Expo at the Raleigh County Convention Center and I saw a booth from Mary Kay. My friend Florence Smith had introduced me to Mary Kay a few years back. I met this little short spunky lady by the name of Connie Winters. I told her that I needed a makeover and she took my information and we scheduled a makeover. This didn't happen for a few months, because of last winters weather. Every time we would schedule a time it would snow. We finally got together in April. I was able to get skin care and my colors done. Also someone I used to work with private messaged me and said that they had some things they wanted to give to somebody who could use them and asked me for my sizes. On Sunday in March the door bell rang Matt answered it. I was asleep. He had a basket of cloths and said the person dropped them off. There were skirts some tops, jeans, jackets in that basket. What a blessing these things were. Just some of the many good things that came my way.
In January Matt had the second surgery. He was doing so well, that they moved the surgery date up two weeks than previously scheduled. This was and still is a time of readjustment. We had to figure out what was the best time to eat dinner, which now is between 4 and 5PM. What he can eat. We still haven't figured out what time he can eat and then go to church afterwards. Everything has to be planned. He is doing a lot better. In the early days there was a lot of pain. Then he started to get restless and overdid it a few times. Like shoveling out the drive way during a snowstorm. As spring came, there was a new set of challenges for us. Taking care of our lawn. For years we had taken care of cutting grass and keeping the yard looking pretty well. There were times we had to rely on someone else to do it and of course no one does it like you would. So we both ended up taking care of the yard,. After the last surgery Matt had to go back to work before he was ready to. This was mainly because he had used up all of his leave and to keep his medical insurance, we would have to pay it ourselves. We weren't in a financial position to do that. Things got a little rough during that time. God is always faithful though.
In May I was able to graduate from college with a four year degree. I wanted to march, I had been working toward this day for a long time. As I mentioned, back in November I had to drop out of school to take care of Matt. To finally realize this dream was a blessing. Words cannot describe how it felt to finish the race I had started so long ago.
I am still working, not as often as I would like, butt still working. I was given to opportunity to start a show where local artist are featured. There are moments that I have flashbacks of what we used to do as a station back in the 1990's and early 2000's. I have to focus on the task at hand for this day and time.
I have had the opportunity to minister at the nursing homes this year. I will start back to Sunday School soon. It has been a hard year trying to balance my duties at church and at home. I just don't feel right leaving Matt sitting at home when at times he wants to go, but is unable to go for health reasons. I am praying on how to do this. I don't think a lot of people understand, that when Matt has a bad night, I have one too. Another challenge I guess. As I said to someone recently, I would rather have him here even with the challenges, than to not have him alive. I just do the best I can. I have always had low vision and I have to read holding a book close up. Well in the last couple of years I have become extremely self conscious about this so usually when I know that I have to read scripture, I will take the Bible verses and print them out in large print. One day I was visiting a church and someone asked me to do scripture and I had to read from the Bible, God was showing me that it was OK . He knew and that it didn't matter what other people thought. I think that sometimes we put too much weight on appearances and someone's way of delivering a message instead of what they have to say. There have been many things I have struggled with this year, even my calling. I know for a fact that God did call me, but sometimes I don't think people see it that way. I really struggle with my place in the ministry.
As a country, I ask that God have mercy on us. In the message I preached in January of this year, There is a way that seems right, but the end there of leads to destruction. There are things that are going on in this county that shouldn't be. At times it seems like the inmates are running the asylum. I don't want to get in to race and all of this, but I have never been so tense and uncomfortable since growing up in the 1960's when one year they were rioting in Cleveland and we had to cancel vacation plans. We need to look to God as our source instead of the government. We need to pray for our leaders, that they would seek Godly solutions to problems. We need to learn to forgiveness and learn how to treat people. I pray that God will have mercy on us in this coming year. When I was growing up I thought that Jesus would have come back by now. He is not willing that any should perish, as He delays His coming, it just gives us more time to repent.
2014 started out as a challenging year for the Milam's. Matt had just went through major surgery at the end of October 2013. He was scheduled to go back to UVA for test to see if there were any problems with healing from the first surgery. This was scheduled on Jan 8th. I had just re-enrolled back in college. Matt had started back to work on a part time basis. We both were still reeling from all of what we had been through. Everything from dealing with Matts surgery, my role as a caregiver, and having to withdraw from my last year of college to care for him. That was the right thing to do, but it came with some emotional scars. When the doctor release Matt to go back to work on a part time basis, I re-enrolled in college. I asked about the RBA program, and after an evaluation, it was determined that I only needed 12 hours, which translated to four classes. I could take them online. I thought OK, I will do this while Matt is resting. So that what I did. As I entered January, I felt tired haggard and very depressed. I posted on Facebook, that I needed a makeover. I really did, my wardrobe consisted of jeans and a few things to wear to work. I needed tops and sweaters. I tend to spill things on my tops so they have to be replaced. I just felt drained. As a result of this post several things happened. I went to the Women's Expo at the Raleigh County Convention Center and I saw a booth from Mary Kay. My friend Florence Smith had introduced me to Mary Kay a few years back. I met this little short spunky lady by the name of Connie Winters. I told her that I needed a makeover and she took my information and we scheduled a makeover. This didn't happen for a few months, because of last winters weather. Every time we would schedule a time it would snow. We finally got together in April. I was able to get skin care and my colors done. Also someone I used to work with private messaged me and said that they had some things they wanted to give to somebody who could use them and asked me for my sizes. On Sunday in March the door bell rang Matt answered it. I was asleep. He had a basket of cloths and said the person dropped them off. There were skirts some tops, jeans, jackets in that basket. What a blessing these things were. Just some of the many good things that came my way.
In January Matt had the second surgery. He was doing so well, that they moved the surgery date up two weeks than previously scheduled. This was and still is a time of readjustment. We had to figure out what was the best time to eat dinner, which now is between 4 and 5PM. What he can eat. We still haven't figured out what time he can eat and then go to church afterwards. Everything has to be planned. He is doing a lot better. In the early days there was a lot of pain. Then he started to get restless and overdid it a few times. Like shoveling out the drive way during a snowstorm. As spring came, there was a new set of challenges for us. Taking care of our lawn. For years we had taken care of cutting grass and keeping the yard looking pretty well. There were times we had to rely on someone else to do it and of course no one does it like you would. So we both ended up taking care of the yard,. After the last surgery Matt had to go back to work before he was ready to. This was mainly because he had used up all of his leave and to keep his medical insurance, we would have to pay it ourselves. We weren't in a financial position to do that. Things got a little rough during that time. God is always faithful though.
In May I was able to graduate from college with a four year degree. I wanted to march, I had been working toward this day for a long time. As I mentioned, back in November I had to drop out of school to take care of Matt. To finally realize this dream was a blessing. Words cannot describe how it felt to finish the race I had started so long ago.
I am still working, not as often as I would like, butt still working. I was given to opportunity to start a show where local artist are featured. There are moments that I have flashbacks of what we used to do as a station back in the 1990's and early 2000's. I have to focus on the task at hand for this day and time.
I have had the opportunity to minister at the nursing homes this year. I will start back to Sunday School soon. It has been a hard year trying to balance my duties at church and at home. I just don't feel right leaving Matt sitting at home when at times he wants to go, but is unable to go for health reasons. I am praying on how to do this. I don't think a lot of people understand, that when Matt has a bad night, I have one too. Another challenge I guess. As I said to someone recently, I would rather have him here even with the challenges, than to not have him alive. I just do the best I can. I have always had low vision and I have to read holding a book close up. Well in the last couple of years I have become extremely self conscious about this so usually when I know that I have to read scripture, I will take the Bible verses and print them out in large print. One day I was visiting a church and someone asked me to do scripture and I had to read from the Bible, God was showing me that it was OK . He knew and that it didn't matter what other people thought. I think that sometimes we put too much weight on appearances and someone's way of delivering a message instead of what they have to say. There have been many things I have struggled with this year, even my calling. I know for a fact that God did call me, but sometimes I don't think people see it that way. I really struggle with my place in the ministry.
As a country, I ask that God have mercy on us. In the message I preached in January of this year, There is a way that seems right, but the end there of leads to destruction. There are things that are going on in this county that shouldn't be. At times it seems like the inmates are running the asylum. I don't want to get in to race and all of this, but I have never been so tense and uncomfortable since growing up in the 1960's when one year they were rioting in Cleveland and we had to cancel vacation plans. We need to look to God as our source instead of the government. We need to pray for our leaders, that they would seek Godly solutions to problems. We need to learn to forgiveness and learn how to treat people. I pray that God will have mercy on us in this coming year. When I was growing up I thought that Jesus would have come back by now. He is not willing that any should perish, as He delays His coming, it just gives us more time to repent.
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