Storms part 2
I have been on quite an emotional rollercoaster of sorts. Storms of life are something else. There you are in a comfortable groove, with school and work, and the extra money that is coming in from part time is helping you fix up some things around the house. You say to your husband, "You need to go to the doctor and get tests done, because you are at the age where you need to have tests done". Then within a few weeks things change, they change so drastically that you can hardly catch your breath. When the colonoscopy is done the doctor tells you they found a polyp and they don't know what's is up with it. Then you are referred to a surgeon who says that this is beyond my ability. Which I appreciate his honesty. I really do. He wanted Matt to go somewhere else. Appointments are made and they work him in at UVA to get him in as quickly as possible. There was another appointment in Morgantown in October. which was weeks away.
Life becomes a series of Dr. appointments tests and screenings. You start wondering why God does not intervene. It feels so lonely. You can't concentrate on anything else. All you have is Gods promise that "He would never leave or forsake you". We find out in order to keep Matt from getting colon cancer , this surgery has to be done. They will have to remove his large intestines. He will have a temporary colostomy. We are afraid and still wondering where is God in all of this, because it feels like we are left facing this on our own. I know better, but you still wonder. They sat the date for the surgery and go to a few more appointments. As the days grow near, I try to prepare myself, by listening to my favorite music one song was "Believe" which was popular in the 1990's. I think of Sheri Easters "Praise His Name" and I think of Margaret Allison of the Angelic Gospel Singers testimony on the front of "Touch Me Lord Jesus". I have friends pray with me for Matt over the phone. I even had his name at the 700 club. His family is saying that he has colon cancer, and I am saying I will not admit that until the doctors tell me.
I was with Matt when they prepped him for surgery. He asked me to pray as well as read the 23rd Psalms. I did it from memory. As they wheeled him to surgery, I had tears in my eyes. I knew he would be different when he came out. There would be challenges to face. While I waited I checked on financial assistance for us. The medical bills will be huge. We made too much money, but I had to try. It wasn't by a lot that we made too much money it was only by a few hundred. So then I asked about a payment arrangement. We have to wait until the bills start coming in. I read, fell asleep and at 5:30PM they called and said he was out of surgery and the doctor would be down to see us. She came in and said the surgery went well, it was a textbook surgery. We could see him shortly. We waited and waited. Finally I called somewhere and they said that he was still knocked out. At 9:30PM we saw him. He was loopy and said something about growing a "Duck Dynasty' beard like Willie. We wanted his wedding band back. I knew he did. he hated taking it off. In fact I think this is the first time he had had it off.
The next days were a blur. They said that he could go home. They showed me how to do the bags and they were setting something up with home health. We drove the 3 hour drive back to Beckley and we started having trouble with the bags. Home health didn't come by. I was scared, so finally I called someone who was a retired nurse to help me. We still had trouble with the bags. I began to make phone calls to UVA and finally someone from a home health agency called. By that time I was a nervous wreck. They came the next day, several different times and I changed a bag. by then I knew something was wrong. Matt was afraid to eat anything because he was tired of the whole ordeal and wanted to kill himself. He was so depressed. I called the prayer line at the church crying and as I talked and prayed with the person a call came in from UVA. It was the surgeon. She said that Matt had stage one cancer of the colon, they got it all no further treatment was needed. All I could say was Praise God!!!
I began to see Gods hand working in the midst of all of this. He doesn't always show us the BIG picture. Sometimes we are given things on a need to know basis. We joist have to trust Him. That he knows what's best for us. We did have to take Matt back to Virginia to figure out a solution to the problem with the bags. We saw the wound care nurse and several other people and hopefully a solution has been found. I am still nervous, but we go one strap at a time. I have had to make some tough decisions myself. One was to withdraw from school. I really couldn't concentrate on everything with all of this going on. I have to leave all of this in God's capable hands. He knows what is best for us. All I can ask is that God walk with us through this journey. Walk with me Lord, Walk with me Walk with me Lord Walk with me, while I'm on this tedious journey I want Jesus to walk with me.
Life becomes a series of Dr. appointments tests and screenings. You start wondering why God does not intervene. It feels so lonely. You can't concentrate on anything else. All you have is Gods promise that "He would never leave or forsake you". We find out in order to keep Matt from getting colon cancer , this surgery has to be done. They will have to remove his large intestines. He will have a temporary colostomy. We are afraid and still wondering where is God in all of this, because it feels like we are left facing this on our own. I know better, but you still wonder. They sat the date for the surgery and go to a few more appointments. As the days grow near, I try to prepare myself, by listening to my favorite music one song was "Believe" which was popular in the 1990's. I think of Sheri Easters "Praise His Name" and I think of Margaret Allison of the Angelic Gospel Singers testimony on the front of "Touch Me Lord Jesus". I have friends pray with me for Matt over the phone. I even had his name at the 700 club. His family is saying that he has colon cancer, and I am saying I will not admit that until the doctors tell me.
I was with Matt when they prepped him for surgery. He asked me to pray as well as read the 23rd Psalms. I did it from memory. As they wheeled him to surgery, I had tears in my eyes. I knew he would be different when he came out. There would be challenges to face. While I waited I checked on financial assistance for us. The medical bills will be huge. We made too much money, but I had to try. It wasn't by a lot that we made too much money it was only by a few hundred. So then I asked about a payment arrangement. We have to wait until the bills start coming in. I read, fell asleep and at 5:30PM they called and said he was out of surgery and the doctor would be down to see us. She came in and said the surgery went well, it was a textbook surgery. We could see him shortly. We waited and waited. Finally I called somewhere and they said that he was still knocked out. At 9:30PM we saw him. He was loopy and said something about growing a "Duck Dynasty' beard like Willie. We wanted his wedding band back. I knew he did. he hated taking it off. In fact I think this is the first time he had had it off.
The next days were a blur. They said that he could go home. They showed me how to do the bags and they were setting something up with home health. We drove the 3 hour drive back to Beckley and we started having trouble with the bags. Home health didn't come by. I was scared, so finally I called someone who was a retired nurse to help me. We still had trouble with the bags. I began to make phone calls to UVA and finally someone from a home health agency called. By that time I was a nervous wreck. They came the next day, several different times and I changed a bag. by then I knew something was wrong. Matt was afraid to eat anything because he was tired of the whole ordeal and wanted to kill himself. He was so depressed. I called the prayer line at the church crying and as I talked and prayed with the person a call came in from UVA. It was the surgeon. She said that Matt had stage one cancer of the colon, they got it all no further treatment was needed. All I could say was Praise God!!!
I began to see Gods hand working in the midst of all of this. He doesn't always show us the BIG picture. Sometimes we are given things on a need to know basis. We joist have to trust Him. That he knows what's best for us. We did have to take Matt back to Virginia to figure out a solution to the problem with the bags. We saw the wound care nurse and several other people and hopefully a solution has been found. I am still nervous, but we go one strap at a time. I have had to make some tough decisions myself. One was to withdraw from school. I really couldn't concentrate on everything with all of this going on. I have to leave all of this in God's capable hands. He knows what is best for us. All I can ask is that God walk with us through this journey. Walk with me Lord, Walk with me Walk with me Lord Walk with me, while I'm on this tedious journey I want Jesus to walk with me.
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