Facing Your Fears

    Well ,I have been a few weeks in the new stage in my life... I received my first paycheck from working in over two years. There are times when I am scared or fearful.  I was surprised at how fast everything came back to my remembrance. I also have received warning about trying to take over and honestly I am not trying to be a know-it-all or anything. People have asked me what my title was and I just said part-time employee. That is good enough for me at the present time. I just wanted to prove to myself that I could still work and do a decent job. I am not trying to streamroll over anyone. I was telling Matt that God may have me here to work on being submissive to authority. Let's face it, I am a child of the 70's. Sometimes, when things don't make sense, I am tempted to ask why or simply to challenge authority. I have had to learn to play the game and keep my thoughts to myself.  I remember taking some college classes where I did just that, give the answers they wanted and kept my thoughts to myself. So maybe God is using this to help me learn to submit. To be a leader, you must be a good follower. 

     What gets me the most are the flashbacks.  There are times when I go to work and I have a flashback of something that happened. Somebody said the other day about me catching on to things, it was as if I had never left. Wow, that was meant to be a compliment, but in my mind I had a flashback to when I  first started in 1977.  This time it is different  I have changed,, because I am not trying to prove anything. I will give it my best shot and hopefully everyone will be pleased with the effort. Over the past two years I have been taught many lessons, some painful and others were growing pains. I have learned to never give your heart and soul away to anything that does not have eternal value. I would see people out in the stores, some didn't know what to say and others asked how I liked retirement.  I had worked the years, but I started as a teenager, so I really wasn't old enough to retire. You adjust and the expression "Go With The Flow " means a lot to me now. There are some things you can't do anything about, so you don't fret, you just roll with it and adjust.

     I do have fears of not succeeding in my mission. I am afraid of failure and not living up to expectations. There are something I can't control. This is where "God help me accept the things I cannot change, to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference." If you don't fail you don't try. I have to give myself these pep talks every now and then.  I am excited buy the possibilities of what the Lord has done. I just have to face my fears and remember there are some things that I can't control....

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