My Place in this world
About 15 or 16 years ago Michael W. Smith had a song called "Place in this world". I'm looking hard to find my place in this world, were some of the lyrics to the song. First I can't beleive it has been that long since that song came out.. When the song came out, I really didn't pay that much attention to the lyrics, because I had my place in the scheme of things. I taught the seventh grade Sunday School class at Memorial Baptist, I was involved in the singles ministry there and worked with children's church. I also did the morning on WJLS -AM and did a little promoting concerts that came to Beckley. I had even did some traveling to some of the concerts and knew quite a few of the artist I played on the air.
Fast forward fifteen years later, I am now a minister still in the young stage of the ministry, where you watch and go with someone and learn how to do things. Even though I have been in church since the age of ten, being a minister is a whole different ballgame. What you do will have a lasting impact on people. Maybe you have a bad day and snap at someone, well, the first thing they think is that "I thought you were a minister". Well ministry is a calling on your life. I did not choose it. God choose me. Why? I will never know, there are so many people that I have no idea how to reach. I have been in church for a long time. The one thing I can say was that church wasn't in me until I was saved at the age of 21. Even then it took a while to get all of the worldly ideas and thoughts out of me. I still struggle with some things. Sometimes I am even ashamed of the way I think. At those times I don't have the mind of Christ. I don't know whose mind I have but it isn't the mind of Christ. As I said I am a minister, a full time college student, and a wife. None of this makes any sense to me or even in the worldly scheme of things. You are supposed to go forward not backward in advancement. I am teaching Sunday School, for the hearing impaired. I am learning so much in that class, I do a few things at the church when asked. I don't get asked that often, I work at the Food for Body and Soul Food Pantry at Heart of God Ministries, I am an officer for Igniting New Life Ministries and I do the broadcast "Lets Have Church" whenever it is my turn. We rotate with about ten ministers,. Having said all of this, I am struggling to find my place in this world.
I know that God gives us certain gifts and abilities that are uniquly for us, and has a calling that is just for us. I thought radio was my calling, I still do, because of the talent I had for it. I know I don't have the greatest voice in the world, but radio is more than voice. I loved being on air, but I loved also putting together a program or doing something behind the scenes that made the station look and sound great. I never wanted to be up front. When I would do MC work, it would be a scary time walking on stage hoping that you wouldn't trip over all of the cords associated with the sound equipment. God didn't call me to be Joyce Meyer, or Paula White or Serita Jakes. I knew Serita as a teenager growing up. Not real well, but we went to the same church and she did the announcements on youth Sunday. I probably could have known her better, but I was so shy as a teenager until it wasn't funny. The only time I came out of my shell was when I was doing plays. I know God has a call on my life that is uniquly mine. Then the question becomes why are you struggling? The answers is that my thoughts are not Gods thoughts neither are my ways Gods ways...
Let me reflect on this a little more, if I was God , I would have had a job for me when I lost the one that I had for 33 years. I wouldn't have let me woner around trying to find my place in the scheme of things, a new normal. Instead, I had to go through the process of seeing others get jobs and do better in life while I sat at home and healed from all of the scars and bruises, God wanted me to rest in Him and wait. God wanted me to apply myself as a minister and a student, not to be concerned with working at this time in my life. If I would have listened to the majority of my friends and family I would have sought revenge and started legal action against my former employer, but I had the mind of Christ and did not do that. I am sure they didn't want to be bothered with me any more that I wanted to be bothered, a clean break was what was needed. God told me to forgive them. I did what God wanted, I have peace of mind, but there are times when I wanted God to prepare a table in the pressence of my enemies, the ones who rejoiced in my downfall, wanted to see me humbled and even gossiped and tried to ruin my name. That hasn't happened yet. Maybe it never will, but there has got to be a reward for obeying God.
As I look for my place in this world, I have learned many things and I also have cried many tears.
Some of the people I have helped over the years don't know me now, those I went to bat for on the job, those I prayed for and lost sleep over because they received unfair treatment or I worried with them and about them. There is a scripture that says "Be not weary in well doing, in due season ye shall reap a harvest of blessings if we faint not." I guess it is not my due season and I hanging on. My testimoney is the Williams Brothers song I'm Still here.
Fast forward fifteen years later, I am now a minister still in the young stage of the ministry, where you watch and go with someone and learn how to do things. Even though I have been in church since the age of ten, being a minister is a whole different ballgame. What you do will have a lasting impact on people. Maybe you have a bad day and snap at someone, well, the first thing they think is that "I thought you were a minister". Well ministry is a calling on your life. I did not choose it. God choose me. Why? I will never know, there are so many people that I have no idea how to reach. I have been in church for a long time. The one thing I can say was that church wasn't in me until I was saved at the age of 21. Even then it took a while to get all of the worldly ideas and thoughts out of me. I still struggle with some things. Sometimes I am even ashamed of the way I think. At those times I don't have the mind of Christ. I don't know whose mind I have but it isn't the mind of Christ. As I said I am a minister, a full time college student, and a wife. None of this makes any sense to me or even in the worldly scheme of things. You are supposed to go forward not backward in advancement. I am teaching Sunday School, for the hearing impaired. I am learning so much in that class, I do a few things at the church when asked. I don't get asked that often, I work at the Food for Body and Soul Food Pantry at Heart of God Ministries, I am an officer for Igniting New Life Ministries and I do the broadcast "Lets Have Church" whenever it is my turn. We rotate with about ten ministers,. Having said all of this, I am struggling to find my place in this world.
I know that God gives us certain gifts and abilities that are uniquly for us, and has a calling that is just for us. I thought radio was my calling, I still do, because of the talent I had for it. I know I don't have the greatest voice in the world, but radio is more than voice. I loved being on air, but I loved also putting together a program or doing something behind the scenes that made the station look and sound great. I never wanted to be up front. When I would do MC work, it would be a scary time walking on stage hoping that you wouldn't trip over all of the cords associated with the sound equipment. God didn't call me to be Joyce Meyer, or Paula White or Serita Jakes. I knew Serita as a teenager growing up. Not real well, but we went to the same church and she did the announcements on youth Sunday. I probably could have known her better, but I was so shy as a teenager until it wasn't funny. The only time I came out of my shell was when I was doing plays. I know God has a call on my life that is uniquly mine. Then the question becomes why are you struggling? The answers is that my thoughts are not Gods thoughts neither are my ways Gods ways...
Let me reflect on this a little more, if I was God , I would have had a job for me when I lost the one that I had for 33 years. I wouldn't have let me woner around trying to find my place in the scheme of things, a new normal. Instead, I had to go through the process of seeing others get jobs and do better in life while I sat at home and healed from all of the scars and bruises, God wanted me to rest in Him and wait. God wanted me to apply myself as a minister and a student, not to be concerned with working at this time in my life. If I would have listened to the majority of my friends and family I would have sought revenge and started legal action against my former employer, but I had the mind of Christ and did not do that. I am sure they didn't want to be bothered with me any more that I wanted to be bothered, a clean break was what was needed. God told me to forgive them. I did what God wanted, I have peace of mind, but there are times when I wanted God to prepare a table in the pressence of my enemies, the ones who rejoiced in my downfall, wanted to see me humbled and even gossiped and tried to ruin my name. That hasn't happened yet. Maybe it never will, but there has got to be a reward for obeying God.
As I look for my place in this world, I have learned many things and I also have cried many tears.
Some of the people I have helped over the years don't know me now, those I went to bat for on the job, those I prayed for and lost sleep over because they received unfair treatment or I worried with them and about them. There is a scripture that says "Be not weary in well doing, in due season ye shall reap a harvest of blessings if we faint not." I guess it is not my due season and I hanging on. My testimoney is the Williams Brothers song I'm Still here.
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