The $64,000 Question
It's been a while since I posted anything here. I was busy with school and passing final exams, dealing with graduation and my father-in-law's visit. All of these things were such a blessing in my life. I appreciate all of the well wishes I received and all of the encouragement. In fact at times I have been moved to tears. Which is saying a lot, because there was a time I couldn't cry in front of anyone. It was looked upon, especially in the business world as a sign of weakness. The only problem with that was that it made me to appear cold and aloof. As women we accepted this as the way we should act. I find that as I get older that life is to celebrated with emotion, good and bad. Crying is not a sign of weakness. Once my mom showed me an article in Decision magazene that said that Jesus wept, so can you. I have said all of this to let you in on a few things that I have experienced lately since the graduation.
The $64,000 question is... whats next? Someone asked me the other day what was I going to do with my degree. I really hadn't thought much about it much. The first step was to finish my associates degree. It's the first step in a process. I should have done college sooner, but life got in the way. I was working and then I was helping with my sister's kids and it got easier not to go back to school. Then after my mom died I got a fresh look at things. My career that I thought was OK, had been derailed. I was going through a lot of mental abuse on the job, seeing me being marginalized, and called stupid, and my husband was under conviction and, bill collectors were calling us, as we tried to work something out to pay them. People tell you to call and work something out with them. I used to think that too, but none of our seemed willing to work with us. We would set up payment plans and then they would want more and keep calling. I knew I had to do something so I went back to school to get another job, a better one maybe. It never occurred to me that I was over 50 and companies didn't want to hire anyone my age. I started school with the possibility and hope of a better future. That all changed when my job ended. The point became to not let my past get in the way of my future. I wasn't sure what God had in store for me, but I knew as I still know that God has something extra special for me. I still don't know what t is.
Someone just today asked me if I was working anywhere? I just looked at them and said no. I had promised the Lord that I was no longer seek work as long as He would provide the money that comes in. There are times when I am tempted to seek employment on a part time basis, but as I said before I am nervous and afraid. I didn't and still don't want WJLS to be the last place I worked.. I want to work sometime, somewhere even if it is part time. If it is God's will. Being depressed is not the way to deal with things . I spend all last summer being depressed crying as it were over spilled milk. I was healing and as my heart began to knit back together, I really realized that all of this was part of God's plan to build me back up. To help me build confidence as I installed the Peachtree software on three computers, and helped some of my classmates with problems. I realized I was not stupid and have a lot to offer a business. If they can't see it, it is their loss. I go and do things for my dad like pay taxes, I am involved with several ministries as well as planning to get my four year degree. I would eventually like to teach on a part time basis at a ministry, but we will see.
As far as me working, I still put it in Gods hands. "He knows the way that I take and when He has tried me, I shall come forth as pure gold." The $64,000 question is when is God going to let me know my purpose in all of this. I just have to be patient and take the little baby steps to maturity in Him. I am not going to agonize over what was , I am going to look forward to what is ahead....
The $64,000 question is... whats next? Someone asked me the other day what was I going to do with my degree. I really hadn't thought much about it much. The first step was to finish my associates degree. It's the first step in a process. I should have done college sooner, but life got in the way. I was working and then I was helping with my sister's kids and it got easier not to go back to school. Then after my mom died I got a fresh look at things. My career that I thought was OK, had been derailed. I was going through a lot of mental abuse on the job, seeing me being marginalized, and called stupid, and my husband was under conviction and, bill collectors were calling us, as we tried to work something out to pay them. People tell you to call and work something out with them. I used to think that too, but none of our seemed willing to work with us. We would set up payment plans and then they would want more and keep calling. I knew I had to do something so I went back to school to get another job, a better one maybe. It never occurred to me that I was over 50 and companies didn't want to hire anyone my age. I started school with the possibility and hope of a better future. That all changed when my job ended. The point became to not let my past get in the way of my future. I wasn't sure what God had in store for me, but I knew as I still know that God has something extra special for me. I still don't know what t is.
Someone just today asked me if I was working anywhere? I just looked at them and said no. I had promised the Lord that I was no longer seek work as long as He would provide the money that comes in. There are times when I am tempted to seek employment on a part time basis, but as I said before I am nervous and afraid. I didn't and still don't want WJLS to be the last place I worked.. I want to work sometime, somewhere even if it is part time. If it is God's will. Being depressed is not the way to deal with things . I spend all last summer being depressed crying as it were over spilled milk. I was healing and as my heart began to knit back together, I really realized that all of this was part of God's plan to build me back up. To help me build confidence as I installed the Peachtree software on three computers, and helped some of my classmates with problems. I realized I was not stupid and have a lot to offer a business. If they can't see it, it is their loss. I go and do things for my dad like pay taxes, I am involved with several ministries as well as planning to get my four year degree. I would eventually like to teach on a part time basis at a ministry, but we will see.
As far as me working, I still put it in Gods hands. "He knows the way that I take and when He has tried me, I shall come forth as pure gold." The $64,000 question is when is God going to let me know my purpose in all of this. I just have to be patient and take the little baby steps to maturity in Him. I am not going to agonize over what was , I am going to look forward to what is ahead....
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