My Mom Helen Leatha Smith - Sadly Missed
As I write this blog, I am remembering my mom. I remember her everyday, but some days more than others. For some of you who will read this, she was a sister, friend, second mother or just a very special person. My mom was born in Keystone, West Virginia, a small mining town in McDowell county. She was the oldest daughter of Joe and Clara Thornton. She was the second oldest of a family of 13. She was married 52 years to her childhood sweetheart Charles "Pete" Smith. She had two daughters, Sharon and myself. She was at times a stay-at-home mom, and worked only when my dad was out of work. She was also a neighborhood mom. Kids were always at our house playing and she did her best to make them feel welcome. There were our adopted siblings, Sam and Mamie. They were at our house from the time they could walk over there. They were neighbors. One of my cousins thought that Mamie lived with us.
Helen grtaduated from Straton High School in 1954 and like many girls then went to work at Raleigh General Hospital. Then when the Beckley Miners Hospital opened she said Miss Laura and some of the others she worked with got jobs at the new hospital. She worked in the kitchen as a dietary aid. She made salads, jello, ect. In 1956 her and my dad were married. They had known each other since they were 11 and 13. My mom said when they moved to Mabscott, that he was standing in the yard being nosy. I am sure looking at the new family moving in. There were plenty of boys for him to hang around with. There was six year difference between my mom and her sister Cornine. My mom said she helped her mom take care of the kids and when she got married she wasn't in a hurry to have kids. I came along in 1958.
My mom was a nice plain-speaking woman. She was the type of woman who said what was on her mind. She instilled in us certain values and beliefs that are just part of us. One of my favorite things she said was that you don't have to kiss someones a-- to get along with them. Be polite and get along , but don't be a poser. She always told me to be myself, wherever I am or what walk of life that I may be in. Be yourself. If you ever wanted to make her mad, mix superstition with the Bible. She had a way about her that was something else. She would shop at the stores in uptown Beckley and buy our clothes on sale or use layaway. She made many sacrifices for us to make sure we had what we needed for school. My mom walked up to Nancy Smith the first year I wnet to the WJLS Christmas Party. Mrs. Nancy Smith very proper greeted her and said, "Hello I am Nancy Smith", my mom said to her in the same manner "Hi I'm Helen Smith". She wasn't intimidated by anyone. She worked for Weight Watchers for a little while. Then she worked at Guthers market for awhile. She took classes in sewing at the Vocational school as well as a cash register class, she also took training as a VITA person and helped fill out taxes and was going to go to H&R Block school when the first grandchild came along.
My mom and I for the most part were friends as well as mother and daughter. Sometimes she said things I didn't like, and I am sure I did things she didn't like. We would go shopping together. When I had to MC a concert or something for the radio station, the first question would be what are you going to wear? If I didn't have anything in mind we would go shopping. Sometimes she would call and we would go shopping, because my dad was doing something she thought was crazy and it got on her nerves, rather than to be bothered with him getting on her nerves we would go out to the amll. When it was time for me to move out we would drive around looking at houses and one day we drove by here and saw a sign in the yard. I had been to this house when I was 13 I knew how it looked. We called about it and went to the bank and got the key, when she walked in she fell in love with the house and began to make plans for it. That weekend she went to a yard sale and bought me a lamp, and a Christmas tree. She said I know you will get this house and that tree will fit in that big front window. When I moved up here there were some problems with the heat and she stayed with me that first winter. My dad was working the late shift at the mines and she said there is no point in both of us being by ourselves and she stayed here. My dad also was afraid I would hurt myself using a kerosene heater...
My mom always helped my dad with things around the house, holding sheetrock, painting... wall papering was her strong suit. She taught us how to do it. My dad had bought the house across the street from my grandmother as a project. My dad is left-handed and he never could cut miter's joints. My mom did this. She was doing that and she felt a sharp pain and she thought she pulled a muscle. For weeks she was in awful pain. They were trying to find a doctor to see her and when they did they discovered she had cancer. It was on her birthday in 2001. I broke down and cried, it was so unfair, my mom always looked after us, the grandkids and everyone else. She began the long fight over a cancer that is a bone cancer. She went into remission for a time and in 2008 it began raging with a vengence. Her last stay in the hospital was 38 days. She came home and lasted not quite a month.
That November morning was like all of the other November mornings, starting witha thick frost and the sun coming out. That Sunday we had all been at the house with mama, we had a good day talking laughing and when I said goodnight I didn't know it would be the last time I would talk to her. That day after work I was going over to see mama, I had a new outfit and I wanted her to see iot. I was at my desk working when the phone rang, it was about 11:30AM. I had just gotten off of the phone with Jim Stover with some tracking information about some music. I picked up the phone. It was my dad and he said, I am taking your mother to BARH, and he paused, his voice broke and he said "I think she's gone". I said I'll find someone to take me and I hung up. I walked around though the station and couldn't find anyone and I started calling Sharon and Mildred (Mom's sister). No one answered. I called my mother-in-law and I called a friend to get a ride to the hospital. While I waited for him to pick me up my mind was racing. I told one of my co-workers what had happened and I was leaving. My mind was racing as I stood waiting for my ride. I was in a state of shock. When we got to the hospital someone came to get me and my dad said she is gone. Sharon finally called me and I told her and she asked what happened, she called Mildred and they arranged to get the kids. My mother-in-law had called Matt and he and Sharon came to the hospital at the same time. Sharon almost passed out. I had to be strong and we went back to see my mom. She was starting to get cold and all I could think of was the suffering was over. I was sad but relieved I knew she was in a better place. I asked her once if she was ready, she said that she was ready, but was in no hurry to go. We went home and the prep began. I was running around putting her things away because I knew people would be coming over. My dad left us in charge of the arrangements. I was calling around letting people know that my mom had died. That night I couldn't sleep. The song "Joshua's Song" came to mind especially "I know you are weary from the battle come on home and rest for a while". The next days were filled with going to the store, buying things for her burial and making arrangements. It was hard and all of the family coming in and some of the neighbors came back. I thought about such an impact that this ordinary woman had made on people that knew her.
My dad made us get all of her stuff out of the house. We took most of it gave some to Goodwill, ect. It was too soon. One day during December is when I had my breakdown. I came home from work and watched "Touched by an Angel" which was one of my mom's favorite shows and they was a man dying with his family around him and as his spirit left his body, he noticed he could walk. I figured mama had that type of experience. My dad had a fear of him being alone when she died. It was just my dad and my mom when she died. She died the way she wanted, with her "Pete" by her side. He was trying to give her, her medication. And she was gone that quick. He said he tried to do CPR call 911 . Sharon told my dad I would have been no help at all, it worked out the way God wanted it. I know that God was merciful in the respect of the way she passed.
There are days where you wish she had lived, not in the condition she was in when she died, but in the condition she was in before she had cancer. When the twins graduated from high school was one of those times that I wished she could have been there. My dad said he thought she was, when I lost my job I wished I could have talked to her, but I felt her spirit in those early days saying "Let them have it, God will take care of it". This is the day that the Lord has made and I thank Him for having my mom to be my mom. She had a special assignment to take care of us and make sure we could take care of ourselves and be strong. She did well.....
Helen grtaduated from Straton High School in 1954 and like many girls then went to work at Raleigh General Hospital. Then when the Beckley Miners Hospital opened she said Miss Laura and some of the others she worked with got jobs at the new hospital. She worked in the kitchen as a dietary aid. She made salads, jello, ect. In 1956 her and my dad were married. They had known each other since they were 11 and 13. My mom said when they moved to Mabscott, that he was standing in the yard being nosy. I am sure looking at the new family moving in. There were plenty of boys for him to hang around with. There was six year difference between my mom and her sister Cornine. My mom said she helped her mom take care of the kids and when she got married she wasn't in a hurry to have kids. I came along in 1958.
My mom was a nice plain-speaking woman. She was the type of woman who said what was on her mind. She instilled in us certain values and beliefs that are just part of us. One of my favorite things she said was that you don't have to kiss someones a-- to get along with them. Be polite and get along , but don't be a poser. She always told me to be myself, wherever I am or what walk of life that I may be in. Be yourself. If you ever wanted to make her mad, mix superstition with the Bible. She had a way about her that was something else. She would shop at the stores in uptown Beckley and buy our clothes on sale or use layaway. She made many sacrifices for us to make sure we had what we needed for school. My mom walked up to Nancy Smith the first year I wnet to the WJLS Christmas Party. Mrs. Nancy Smith very proper greeted her and said, "Hello I am Nancy Smith", my mom said to her in the same manner "Hi I'm Helen Smith". She wasn't intimidated by anyone. She worked for Weight Watchers for a little while. Then she worked at Guthers market for awhile. She took classes in sewing at the Vocational school as well as a cash register class, she also took training as a VITA person and helped fill out taxes and was going to go to H&R Block school when the first grandchild came along.
My mom and I for the most part were friends as well as mother and daughter. Sometimes she said things I didn't like, and I am sure I did things she didn't like. We would go shopping together. When I had to MC a concert or something for the radio station, the first question would be what are you going to wear? If I didn't have anything in mind we would go shopping. Sometimes she would call and we would go shopping, because my dad was doing something she thought was crazy and it got on her nerves, rather than to be bothered with him getting on her nerves we would go out to the amll. When it was time for me to move out we would drive around looking at houses and one day we drove by here and saw a sign in the yard. I had been to this house when I was 13 I knew how it looked. We called about it and went to the bank and got the key, when she walked in she fell in love with the house and began to make plans for it. That weekend she went to a yard sale and bought me a lamp, and a Christmas tree. She said I know you will get this house and that tree will fit in that big front window. When I moved up here there were some problems with the heat and she stayed with me that first winter. My dad was working the late shift at the mines and she said there is no point in both of us being by ourselves and she stayed here. My dad also was afraid I would hurt myself using a kerosene heater...
My mom always helped my dad with things around the house, holding sheetrock, painting... wall papering was her strong suit. She taught us how to do it. My dad had bought the house across the street from my grandmother as a project. My dad is left-handed and he never could cut miter's joints. My mom did this. She was doing that and she felt a sharp pain and she thought she pulled a muscle. For weeks she was in awful pain. They were trying to find a doctor to see her and when they did they discovered she had cancer. It was on her birthday in 2001. I broke down and cried, it was so unfair, my mom always looked after us, the grandkids and everyone else. She began the long fight over a cancer that is a bone cancer. She went into remission for a time and in 2008 it began raging with a vengence. Her last stay in the hospital was 38 days. She came home and lasted not quite a month.
That November morning was like all of the other November mornings, starting witha thick frost and the sun coming out. That Sunday we had all been at the house with mama, we had a good day talking laughing and when I said goodnight I didn't know it would be the last time I would talk to her. That day after work I was going over to see mama, I had a new outfit and I wanted her to see iot. I was at my desk working when the phone rang, it was about 11:30AM. I had just gotten off of the phone with Jim Stover with some tracking information about some music. I picked up the phone. It was my dad and he said, I am taking your mother to BARH, and he paused, his voice broke and he said "I think she's gone". I said I'll find someone to take me and I hung up. I walked around though the station and couldn't find anyone and I started calling Sharon and Mildred (Mom's sister). No one answered. I called my mother-in-law and I called a friend to get a ride to the hospital. While I waited for him to pick me up my mind was racing. I told one of my co-workers what had happened and I was leaving. My mind was racing as I stood waiting for my ride. I was in a state of shock. When we got to the hospital someone came to get me and my dad said she is gone. Sharon finally called me and I told her and she asked what happened, she called Mildred and they arranged to get the kids. My mother-in-law had called Matt and he and Sharon came to the hospital at the same time. Sharon almost passed out. I had to be strong and we went back to see my mom. She was starting to get cold and all I could think of was the suffering was over. I was sad but relieved I knew she was in a better place. I asked her once if she was ready, she said that she was ready, but was in no hurry to go. We went home and the prep began. I was running around putting her things away because I knew people would be coming over. My dad left us in charge of the arrangements. I was calling around letting people know that my mom had died. That night I couldn't sleep. The song "Joshua's Song" came to mind especially "I know you are weary from the battle come on home and rest for a while". The next days were filled with going to the store, buying things for her burial and making arrangements. It was hard and all of the family coming in and some of the neighbors came back. I thought about such an impact that this ordinary woman had made on people that knew her.
My dad made us get all of her stuff out of the house. We took most of it gave some to Goodwill, ect. It was too soon. One day during December is when I had my breakdown. I came home from work and watched "Touched by an Angel" which was one of my mom's favorite shows and they was a man dying with his family around him and as his spirit left his body, he noticed he could walk. I figured mama had that type of experience. My dad had a fear of him being alone when she died. It was just my dad and my mom when she died. She died the way she wanted, with her "Pete" by her side. He was trying to give her, her medication. And she was gone that quick. He said he tried to do CPR call 911 . Sharon told my dad I would have been no help at all, it worked out the way God wanted it. I know that God was merciful in the respect of the way she passed.
There are days where you wish she had lived, not in the condition she was in when she died, but in the condition she was in before she had cancer. When the twins graduated from high school was one of those times that I wished she could have been there. My dad said he thought she was, when I lost my job I wished I could have talked to her, but I felt her spirit in those early days saying "Let them have it, God will take care of it". This is the day that the Lord has made and I thank Him for having my mom to be my mom. She had a special assignment to take care of us and make sure we could take care of ourselves and be strong. She did well.....
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